Royal Flush

No, I’m not talking Poker. I’m talking the joys of a properly flushing toilet and stepping up and out as a Christian leader.

Our downstairs toilet was just not working right. Half the time after flushing it would just run and run and run until someone lifted the tank lid and jiggled the… thingy (Obviously, I’m a real expert!). This had been going on for a couple of weeks. Of course, too cheap to call a plumber and too scared to crack open the old tool box myself, I did the only thing a real man can do, deny and do nothing. Great plan! Then, as though possessed by the ghost of the “Tidy Bowl Man,”  it started running on its own, now haunting, even taunting me. I would awake in the morning to find it had been running for most of the night, the sound coming up the steps to our bedroom mocking me in relentless jovial jest. Enough! It was on like “Donkey Kong!”

I rolled up my sleeves, opened both the tool box and the handy replacement kit (that I had bought two weeks before!), spread out the directions, and went to work. I’ll spare you the dirty, leaky details. Imagine a comedy of outhouse errors and you’ve pretty much got the picture. It wasn’t pretty. However, after three hours… okay, four (and completely doing the project over after the first time I thought I had finished), I stepped back, examined my work and then with bated breath… attempted the inaugural flush.

It was beautiful. Brushing back the tears, I listened to the sound of a proper proportioned fill and then, the silence of a tank just waiting for the next royal flush. By the way, if there are any atheists reading this, your world view has just been shattered. There is a God and the fact that I successfully did anything requiring more than a couple turns of a screwdriver is proof enough. 

Here’s the leadership lesson – quite putting it off! Whatever it is that you know you can and should be doing… roll up your sleeves, get the right tools, access and actually refer to the directions, and “git’r done!”  Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. As sure as my water bill is going to be through the roof next month because of my namby-pamby fear of toilets (also known as Corporophobia), you will pay for your procrastination.

Seriously, my friends. I actually prayed about the situation the night before. Money is tight these days for everyone, so I didn’t want to have to break down and call a plumber ($70 just to pull in the driveway around here!). However, I had to do something. So, I took my time, read the directions again and again, and, when it was leaking like a siv after my first ill-fated attempt, I just started over. No other-worldly skill involved here. Just a man, his tools, and a toilet. In the end (pardon the shameless pun), the dirty deed was done and family and friends alike can now enjoy a fear free royal flush anytime nature calls.



  1. Tom, you truly have a Pastor/Teacher’s heart; for only a man dedicated to teaching others could take fixing a broken toilet and turn it into a teachable moment. YOU ROCK!

    1. Thanks, Larry. The “p.s.” to the story is that I had to redo it one more time before all was leak-free. God is good! Lord willing, I would love to partner with you and your ministry sometime in the future… promise to leave your plumbing to the experts!

  2. Mr Pelt. Nest time humbly pick up the phone and call me. I’m pretty good at fixin’ toilets and I’m not even a plumber. Oh, and that will be no charge, please.

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